29 Aug Unfocused Morning Turned Deep Ministering

29 Aug 2022

Quite unfocused morning, wanted to worship with three songs and quickly wrap up.

Started worshipping and it went on and on, seven songs in total.

God chose the songs to minister and encourage me. Was weeping and releasing my emotions to God. A few moments to stand up and praise in the midst of weeping and total weakness. Made a choice to give my life to God, whatever “little life” I have left.

Went on my knees later in the afternoon during fast and pray. Made a choice to pray for a family. Made a choice to bless them even though I feel very 委屈 in my interactions with them recently. Proclaimed to God that it’s never about me and my rights. May my little act of turning the other cheek be pleasing to God.

13 Sep 2022

God remind me to show some care to this brother whom I wrote about above. And I just felt that I really don’t want to. Feels very “wronged” and that it’s always me to be wrong and to apologize and then still have to show concern. Like why is it always me to compromise and suffer? This morning I made a choice, though I really dislike it, that ok, I will show concern. And pray that God remove the bitterness and grant me His love to love others, because right now I really cannot love this brother.